Religion became
a part of me and parcel of the lives of the believers in searching for more
meaningful life. Different perspectives, views and grounds that these beliefs
are rooted on something peculiar kind of traditional religious paradigms.
Personally,
I have my own grounds of belief and unbelief. Out of juvenile mind as a mundane
individual living in this world of complexities, during my childhood I did not
know what faith is. I presumed that I and my family were living as pious
Christians. We attend the mass every Sunday. We recite prayers before meals and
before going to bed. We introduce to familiarize different bible stories. These
were somehow a manifestation on how we .profess our faith. I did not understand
it but I just follow. These somehow contributed a lot in my vocation to grow
and cultivated my desire to serve Him for the rest of my life.
Because
of this scenario where I had before and even until now, my faith was
strengthened. It made me strong and gave me a clear picture of my direction of
what road I am going to lead. Now, this faith makes me believe the things
though it is full of mystery. It is very hard to explain how it is possible but
with all my personal conviction and in my own freedom, I do have such belief.
Eventually, taking or giving more emphasis on reason of how things or the world
works may shatter or quiver ones belief. It may somehow lead to question and to
discover the things beyond the mystery. This would be an irony of what mystery
pertains to. With this, it may lead to unbelief.
As my journey
went along in searching to find an answer in such mystery, I found myself unsatisfied,
unfulfilled, something empty. I felt that it was just like a way to nothingness
– meaningless at all. This was one of the main impetuses that motivated me to
enter seminary. This led me to leave my family, my career and my love life with
consent and believing that God will never abandon them. I never regret upon
responding to this initial call of God. Instead, I enjoy being here, striving
and learning the life with God. This is what I learned from my past that molded
me to be what kind of person I am in the present, the person who decides from
what I believe. With optimism, I pray to nourish this desire toward priesthood.
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